9.27.2012

A rant about life.

Sometimes in life things become too routine. Sometimes you need something to come along and shake things up a bit. Sometimes this doesn't always happen in the way that you had hoped or imagined. Most of the time, you don't even notice this lingering stagnancy in your life. But then something happens and suddenly you are awake from this dream.

Tonight I had a few of these moments.
It has been pointed out to me by my father that I am not currently really pushing myself in any way. I have been going through the motions of my every day life, going to school and then to work and then coming home to spend my evenings quietly. The fact that I don't have much schoolwork is concerning to him, but to me it is a nice change from the stress of my senior year of high school. But, I will admit, things have become stale. My math class bores me to tears, as I have already completed the homework before receiving the lesson in class. But I must go to class anyway. And yes, I am taking photography, which doesn't require much outside work and isn't technically a transferable class for my general education. But I need it for my sanity. I don't know an education without at least one art class. My junior year of high school, I took four art classes. Four.

I think that living at home while everyone I know is leaving to take their place at their respective campuses is making me feel a little left behind. Or a lot left behind.
So, yes maybe I could be challenging myself a little more, but I have to just get through some of the classes that are required to transfer. Eventually they will get harder, and it's okay.

Additionally, it dawned on me that I really don't know what to do about my further education. Last fall, or even this past spring, I thought I had it figured out. But now that my world has been seemingly flipped upside down and shaken around a bit, I don't know. What should I major in? What should I "fall back on," as my father suggests? Honestly, I don't think I need something to fall back on, because it makes me feel as if I do not have faith in my abilities to achieve what I have set out to do. And that is to have a career in which I am constantly creative and am free to explore the world. 


Lastly,  tonight I received an unexpected, totally random phone call from an old "friend." Okay, an ex-boyfriend. It went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Him: Hi, so I know this is really random, but you know those times when you are just so deep in procrastination that you will pretty much do anything to avoid doing homework?
Me: Yes...
Him: Well, I was listening to the CDs you made me and The Rocket Summer came on and it made me think of you and remember that I haven't talked to you since you started college and it's a time of big changes in your life and I just want to see how you are and how you have been doing. 
Me: I'm good. How are you?
Him: I'm good. I really do have to start that homework, but this weekend can we talk on the phone and you can tell me about how life has been?
Me: Um, yeah that sounds good.
Him: Okay cool. I should have gotten my act together and driven down to see you over the summer. I'm sorry.
Me: It's okay.

I don't even know.
This has been the most random thing to happen to me in a while. 
Does that tell you how interesting life has been lately?

P.S. I wish that I had lovely photos not taken on an iPhone to share with you all, but the fact of the matter is that I have been shooting a lot of film lately. And let's be honest, there hasn't been anything too interesting to take photos of.

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