I have really loved that I have been able to convince Dai to take my outfit photos for the past couple months. It makes my life so much easier, and quite frankly, I don't even know where I put my camera remote so I don't really have a choice right now! I will admit, I can be very particular about what I want my photos to look like, and this sometimes causes arguments between us when shooting. I guess it all comes down to poor communication of my creative vision. I have such a strong vision of what each shot should look like and I have a difficult time putting those thoughts into words for Dai. I then get frustrated if they don't turn out how I want, which of course isn't his fault, but I take it out on him. I can't expect him to simply read my mind! But I do, which often results in Dai vowing that this is the very last time he is doing outfit photos for me. And then we lay it to rest for a few days until the next time I literally beg him to do it and promise that I will be nice haha.
So, in an effort to make things enjoyable for both of us, we have now established the 3 Word Rule: I can only give directions or advice 3 words at a time. Ha! That way I have to choose my words wisely, don't have enough words to argue with, and still give Dai room for creative freedom. We have been using this system for the past few shoots, and I must say, it is actually working! We have definitely been getting along much better during our sessions and it doesn't make us want to kill each other. So, I don't think I'll fire him just yet (or more like that he will quit!) ;)
Another thing I often notice him saying to me is something along the lines of, "Babe, you're not a model." Which clearly I know. Like a 5'1" girl who is definitely not stick thin would ever be a model anyway. Besides temporarily annoying me (I know he is really just joking around), his comment has made me think of bloggers who post outfit photos in general. Why do they do it? Why do I do it? I guess the answer to that is simple: for fun. Like, you definitely don't have to tell me I'm not a model. I know that and am willing to bet a large chunk of change that I never will be. And that is okay because it isn't what I am trying to do. I just enjoy pushing myself to create new outfits with what I already have since a) I don't have a large clothing budget and b) it is cool to see how one piece can be restyled in many different ways. I like and appreciate personal style in general and want to share that with the world. Plus, it's my blog and I can do what I want ;)
I'll let you in on a little secret though: sometimes it is tough to post outfit photos. I am not 100% confident with my body and posting photos of myself from head to toe makes me feel vulnerable sometimes. During our shoots, I am constantly thinking, how do I look from this angle? Is this going to make me look awful? I know that I have areas that could be improved (which has been a lifelong struggle for me), but I don't want to always feel restricted by that and want to feel okay with where I am at right now. It is easy to think, Oh, six months from now I want to be skinny. Trust me, it is. It is harder to act on though, and I really haven't gotten the hang of that yet. But, on the same coin, I sometimes feel that if I changed that little part of myself, all of my other problems will vanish too. Which is silly and untrue.
Though outfit photos are scary sometimes, it makes me feel good in my own skin to get dressed up in a special outfit and maybe do my makeup in a new way. We all have things about our bodies that we want to change, and I could easily list off ten things right now. But, what is bigger and more important than that at the end of the day (whether you are thin or not) is to love yourself.
