The Perks of Being a (Bathroom) Wallflower

Happy Sunday night, all. Today was a busy day spent at the Oakland A's Fan Fest, although I am not really a fan, and at a birthday extravaganza for a one-year-old that I had not previously met.

So, here are a few thoughts on that:

- Fan Fest: overrated and essentially like a Disneyland with no rides, also known as painfully long lines  that trick you into thinking that they could be short, only to take you through twisting turns near the front. But I was not fooled. I knew that it was going to take FOREVER to get a picture with a baseball player of which whom I have not the slightest idea their name.

- Why I was at Fan Fest: I am a supportive girlfriend who understands that we cannot always do things that I want to do. So, being supportive includes waiting in line for an hour and a half, and being the line keeper while said boyfriend collects free swag and takes photos of anything with an A's logo on it, as if he were a kid in a candy shop. That look makes it all worth it. (Also, praise the Lord for Kindles)

- On to the party: Now, this party was no ordinary one-year-old's party. It was held in a rented hall, with a DJ, a photo booth, long tables of food, many round tables with decorations for sitting, and a giant cake station. And there were princess costumes, which I suppose are pretty normal for a one-year-old little girl.
- Filipino people are hilarious. That is all.

After this busy day and as I am starting to feel a little sick, this is all I want to do tonight:

Sounds like a good plan to me.

I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower today and I absolutely loved it. I enjoy books about somewhat neurotic male teenagers apparently, as I also loved The Catcher in the Rye, It's Kind of a Funny Story, and Looking For Alaska. While I was in the shower, this got me thinking and I started to wonder if I was at all strange like those characters, and then next thing I knew I was inspired to pull out my film Nikon and finish off my roll of film with photos of my feet in the shower and different parts of my bathroom. Including throwing pennies in my toilet like a wishing well. Followed by tossing a couple plastic dinosaurs in there too. I have no explanation. Except that in the midst of this, Dai showed up at my house, saw what I was doing, and asked if there was something I'd like to talk about. So maybe that answers my question about whether or not I am like Charlie or Holden.

At any rate, I hope my photos turn out well.

My Grandpa and the Nikon F

The other day, Kellene over at This Lovely Little Day blogged about a scarf she made from a project that her grandma had left on her knitting needles when she passed away. Now, she gets to carry around a little piece of her grandma, and this sweet story inspired me to write about my own connection to my grandpa: my film camera.

I grew up never having met my grandpa and not knowing much about him, until one day in 5th grade when I got his address and sent him a letter with my picture enclosed.

"Um, hi. You've never met me, but I'm your granddaughter. Here's my picture. I hope you think I'm cute."

Of course, those weren't my exact words, but looking back I realize how bold it was for me to send such a thing to a complete stranger. And how awkward it could sound.

Despite my doubts, he wrote back and we continued our relationship through hand written letters to each other. He had such beautiful handwriting and was always so thoughtful, telling me to give Marly a kiss (I got Marly in 2006, so he was kept abreast of my excitement about that) and to say hello to my dad. He was an avid bike rider and always sent me magazine clippings of women bikers to inspire me, pretty bikes, and action shots from races. They were always so tenderly cut, the corners clipped off like many photos from the 50's and notes on the back. He also usually sent me $5 or $10 and told me to go see specific movies or to bake a cake that he really loved because he just wanted me to try it. 

After we had started sending letters to each other, it was discovered that his younger sister (my great aunt) only lived a block away from us, and a whole new part of the family I had never known before opened up, one that I am still close with today. I had heard stories from my mother that my grandpa fought in the Vietnam war, but this newfound family filled me in even more, and I found out that my grandfather was an artist and photographer that used to create drafts of boats and ships, and took many photos during his days in the war in Vietnam, Thailand, and Cambodia.

A few years after he passed away in 2007, I found a box of my mother's old stuff, which had many of his beautiful photographs in it and a letter he had written someone. On the back of the letter, he had glued an ad clipping for the Nikon F, which was all the rage at the time, and expressed to his friend that he wanted it.

That is the camera right up there. He had wanted that camera, but never got it. And miraculously, a donor gave that camera to my high school, and then my teacher gave it to me during my sophomore year. At the time, I thought it was pretty cool and my dad got it fixed for me to use in a film class I had decided to take at the local community college. I had no idea that it was the camera my grandpa had dreamed of until a year or so later when I found his things.

Now that I know about this connection, I appreciate my camera much more and am grateful for the talents that I know I inherited from him. I am a big believer of things happening for a reason, and I believe that he made sure that if he couldn't have that camera, that I would somehow end up with it, and that I would discover the connection it held. 

As something a little extra, I thought I'd share with you this piece I made that was inspired by him.

It is a photo transfer on canvas with mixed media collage and details.

Do you have any cool connections to your family?

My second film print of the semester! Yay! It took us a while to get started in the darkroom, but now the printing shall begin. This is a photo I took of my friend's parents in Napa when we went on the wine train. It is a perfect representation of them.

Gosh how I love film. Especially black and white. Classic and elegant.

Happy Friday!!

P.S. Please excuse the dust particles from my drying book! :)

Art for the sake of art.

Last summer when I studied at an art program in L.A., my printmaking teacher was very strict about what we were allowed to create in his class. Everything had to have a meaning or convey a message or social problem. I had wanted to make a block print of a design I had created. After I had started the process, he wouldn't let me finish it because "decorative things are not art" and we were not to waste our time on such things. 

A student then challenged this thinking with the response, "What about art for the sake of art?"

This was not an acceptable reasoning. Everything had to have meaning. I disagreed and quickly realized that this teacher was not one that I would share my innermost inspirations with.

Our 2012 Art Department Chalk Festival piece

Getting to my point, today I had my first class session of intermediate black and white film photography! I took the beginning class at the same community college when I was a junior in high school, so it is really nice that I can kind of dive into more advanced classes as a freshman, especially since my class has all types of advanced levels in one room. 

I believe I mentioned in the 11 things about me for the Liebster award that I took AP studio art my last year of high school. And that I didn't like it. There were several reasons, but the most important one is that it made me have a kind of jaded perspective of my work. It made me feel as though I was doing my work for "them" and not for me; for a grade on a national test and not for the love of it.

Since then, I really haven't picked up my camera or any art supplies for the sake of creating art. I take photos for this blog (believe me I do have tons of ideas that I haven't executed for this, but it's just not the same as for art!) and I make "crafts", but I have not made art. 

The closest I have come is experimenting with some block printing last week. But you know what, even just messing around with some true fine art materials kind of put a spark in me. It felt nice. And not forced. 

That's what today's class felt like. It was a community of photographers, of people (from 18-60) who want to be there to create, learn from others, and just share this love. It was like a breath of fresh air. I have been creatively falling and hopefully this class will be just what I need to find my footing again. Hopefully I will again be able to make art for the sake of making art.

P.S. I have loved all the encouragement and advice I have been getting on starting college! Thanks for the love, friends.
Hopefully later this week (when I get my bearings a little more) we can move on to more interesting stuff. I know you guys love the iPhone pics, but come on, you know I can do better than that!

XOXO