SOCIAL MEDIA

2.03.2016

Thoughts that Come to Me in the Shower

us
I often wish that I could write while I am in the shower, since it seems that is where inspiration tends to strike for me. Tonight was one of those nights. I was standing there, rubbing coconut shampoo into my hair, the hot water beating down on my back and suddenly had a flow of thoughts about life lately that I wanted to write down.

First of all, the new semester started last Thursday and it was a bit of a drag going back to school after a 7 week winter break. I was definitely spoiled with all that time off! I think my classes are actually going to be pretty interesting thankfully, but I am already a little stressed out thinking about how I will manage four classes (on top of work) instead of two like I had last semester. The class I am most concerned about is my design class, which is the next level of the class I was in last semester. It was definitely a very time consuming class, so I am worried about being able to balance my other classes too. I know I will figure it out though and that everything will be ok!

A second major thing is that I am starting a new job in two weeks! When I started my new school and moved in August, I kept working with the same nanny family. It was a struggle though because they now lived 45 minutes to an hour away, depending on traffic, and I was spending so much money on gas and precious time driving back and forth. It is most likely the thing that made last semester the hardest and I knew that over winter break I had to find a new job much, much closer to home. After a bit of searching and a few interviews, I finally found the perfect new family to work with!

Though I am very sad to leave my current family since they have truly become like family to me (and have supported me like no other), I am really looking forward to this change. It will seriously vastly improve my day to day schedule! Now that I will be working close to home, I will have time to go home after class to have lunch and see Marly, and will get home at a very reasonable time in the evenings. Aside from the kids being great, the family owns a local bakery and has even asked me if I'd be willing to help with design needs and photographing food as extra hours. Of course I immediately said HECK YES! So there's that.
us-2
Like most people around this time of year, I am trying to be healthier. Dai and I have been eating a lot more veggies and salads, and have been skipping dessert. We even went out to get ice cream one evening and while we were waiting for our turn to order, we actually left because we realized that we didn't need ice cream. What?! I know. Dai also gave me a Fitbit Aria smart scale since he was gifted an extra one by his work. Even though I am not a big fan of scales for obvious, painful reasons that a lot of women can relate to, I must admit that it is a pretty cool device. Also, since I will actually be spending my week days near home, I am considering joining a really awesome, reasonably priced gym. I've never really done the whole gym thing before, but I've been going to this one for the past few days with a visitor pass and it's been pretty fun! I don't know much about working out yet and know that I will have to start little by little. I just need to start being active and think that this would be a great way for me to begin!

I've been pretty excited about blogging lately. I know that I haven't always been the most consistent, but I am really trying to set realistic and manageable goals for myself when it comes to this blog. I would love to spend time churning out posts for every day of the week and doing all of the proper networking things to promote myself, but honestly that's just not what my life will allow at the moment since I am in school full time and work 20 hours a week. That being said, my hope is to not let this blog be silent for weeks on end! I am working on finding balance.

Speaking of blogging, I am also working on some changes for Blog Buddies Network. It is officially one year old and it has been great being an admin for the group, but it is time that BBN refined its focus and we revamp it a bit. Stay tuned for details! Also, if your interested, you can request to join this awesome group of bloggers that support each other :)
mar
One thing that I'm not looking forward to now that I am going to school more than I was last semester and will be spending most of my time in the city I now live in, it means that I will just be seeing Dai on the weekends now. It is a bummer and will take some adjusting to get used to, but I know that we will be alright during this season of life. It is simply where we are at with me in school and everything and him working full time. We will just do our best to make our time that we do have together wonderful and hug each other a little tighter <3

Well, I think that's all for now! Good talk, yeah? There's just something about showers that allow for such clear thinking. I recently remembered how nice it is taking showers at night, too. The other day I was talking to the 6th grade girl that I nanny about my morning routine and she was like, "why don't you take showers at night to save time?" and I was like, "I don't know." And then I started taking her advice and decided that that tween might be on to something. Plus it is so cold in my house in the mornings, especially in the bathroom, so after a shower all I want to do is get back into my warm bed. I also discovered that if I turn my heating blanket and space heater on before I get in the shower, when I come back to my room, the whole place is nice and toasty. It is quite magical!

Overall, I'm just really feeling good about everything that's happening right now. 2016 has been off to a great start so far! I'm excited to see where all these good things lead :)

What's been happening with you lately?


10.10.2014

The 1am Rambles

life So, I'm not really sure how to start something like this, but I guess I just have to start somewhere. Here's the thing: I've been having a hard time lately. I wouldn't say that it is about the new things happening in my life, like living on my own for the first time and all the changes that come with it. Maybe that has a little to do with it, but I think I'm actually doing really well with all of that right now. What I am having a hard time with, though, is the idea of life in general.

For some reason, thoughts of my life span and mortality have been constantly looming at the back of my mind for the past couple weeks. I don't really know what triggered it, but I just can't let these things go or turn these thoughts off. The night time is the worst, and I find myself panicking a bit when I am driving or laying in bed. I have a hard time falling asleep, which is why I am sitting here typing away in the middle of the night. I also really hate being alone in the evenings and have probably been leaning on Dai a little too much because of it (for the record, he is a great sport about is and is so comforting). All of this is just so overwhelming to think about and honestly just scares me so much. I am afraid of life and moments passing me by so quickly, and of being alone later in life and of all the people I know and love passing. It is really just too much for me to handle and I'm not sure how to turn all of these thoughts off.

I hear that some of this is normal, that these things cross people's minds at times. What I am concerned about though is that I am finding that these thoughts are preventing me from enjoying my life in the moment. I am experiencing things, but somewhere in the back of my mind I am thinking about how one day I won't be here to do these things again or how quickly time will/is passing. Honestly, it is driving me crazy and I really don't know how much longer I can handle all of this. I think I have decided it is time to talk to a professional about what I am experiencing hopeful relieve this anxiety.

I know that this is all very, well, depressing and not necessarily in the realm of things I tend to write about here, but I do believe in honesty and feel that I wouldn't be doing this space justice if I didn't write about the good and the bad. I also just hoped that by writing my thoughts down, I could somehow release all of these feelings so they were no longer trapped inside of me. And, really, writing is the only way I know how to organize my thoughts.

Thank you to those of you who read this post all the way through. You're all really swell. I'll be back more cheerfully soon. xoxo.